In this episode of The Via Stoica Podcast, Benny speaks with Becky Schmooke, author of Choose the Handle That Holds and founder of Stoic Edge Consulting. Becky is redefining what leadership means through Stoic philosophy, mindfulness, and practical frameworks that bring calm, clarity, and courage to everyday decisions.
Their discussion dives into what it really means to live Stoically in leadership, how to choose the right “handle” in difficult moments, how to align personal values with professional action, and how her SAFE and STOA models help people navigate both the personal and professional challenges of modern life.
Choosing the Handle That Holds
Becky’s book, Choose the Handle That Holds, takes inspiration from a powerful metaphor in Stoic philosophy: every event in life can be grasped by two handles, one that makes the situation heavier, and one that allows us to lift it with grace.
“Every situation offers more than one handle. You can grab the one that leads to frustration, or you can choose the one that helps you move forward with clarity.”
Becky Schmooke, Via Stoica Podcast, A Stoic Conversation with Becky Schmooke (00:48)
For Becky, this metaphor is not just theoretical; it’s the foundation of mindful leadership. The handle we choose determines how we lead, communicate, and even think. “It’s not about ignoring difficulty,” she explains, “it’s about deciding how you show up to meet it.”
The SAFE Model: Leading with Integrity and Endurance
Becky introduces the SAFE model as a Stoic-inspired structure for building resilience and presence in leadership. Each part represents a quality that keeps us anchored when life becomes uncertain:
- Strength to stand and act with integrity
- Agility to adapt to the needs of the moment
- Flexibility to reach for curiosity in adversity
- Endurance to value the process over the outcome
“SAFE reminds us that real leadership isn’t about control, it’s about awareness. These four qualities help you lead yourself first so you can lead others better.”
Becky Schmooke, Via Stoica Podcast, A Stoic Conversation with Becky Schmooke (08:10)
Through the SAFE model, Becky helps teams and individuals reflect on how they respond under pressure. Strength and endurance ensure ethical stability; agility and flexibility keep leaders open to learning, change, and growth.
The STOA Model: Turning Reflection into Action
Becky also developed the STOA model, a practical process for reflection and decision-making. It’s designed to move leaders from awareness to action while staying true to Stoic principles.
- Success: Define what success truly means to you, not by external approval, but by alignment with your values.
- Targets: Identify what goals matter most and why.
- Obstacles & Opportunities: Recognize the challenges and lessons that appear along the way.
- Action Steps: Decide on clear, virtuous actions that move you forward.
“The STOA model gives structure to reflection. It helps you ask the right questions: What am I aiming for? What’s standing in my way? And what small step can I take right now?”
Becky Schmooke, Via Stoica Podcast, A Stoic Conversation with Becky Schmooke (12:30)
Both SAFE and STOA reflect Becky’s philosophy of applied Stoicism, turning timeless wisdom into tools that people can use in real life.
Leadership as a Daily Practice
Throughout the conversation, Becky emphasizes that Stoicism and leadership are both lifelong practices. It’s not about perfection, but about awareness, about meeting life moment by moment with steadiness and reflection.
“Leadership isn’t about titles or big gestures. It’s about how you choose to respond in the smallest moments. That’s where your character shows up.”
Becky Schmooke, Via Stoica Podcast, A Stoic Conversation with Becky Schmooke (16:45)
Her message is both Stoic and deeply human: self-leadership comes first. From there, everything else follows.
Watch the Full Conversation
To explore the full interview with Becky Schmooke, including her SAFE and STOA frameworks, visit A Stoic Conversation with Becky Schmooke on YouTube. You can also listen to it on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.
You can learn more about her work at BeckySchmooke.com and her book Choose the Handle That Holds.
Want to explore more Stoic practices?
Book a free consultation with one of our Stoic Coaches. You can also listen to the Via Stoica podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts or watch it on YouTube.
Author Bio
Benny Voncken is the co-founder of Via Stoica, where he helps people apply Stoic philosophy to modern life. He is a Stoic coach, writer, and podcast host of The Via Stoica Podcast. With almost a decade of teaching experience and daily Stoic practice, Benny creates resources, workshops, and reflections that make ancient wisdom practical today.
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