How to Live as a Stoic Philosopher: Stop Seeking Approval, Start Living Your Values

“If it ever happens that you turn to external things in the desire to please some other person, realize that you have ruined your scheme of life. Be content, then, with being a philosopher in everything; and if you wish also to be seen as one, show yourself that you are one, and you will be able to achieve it.”

Epictetus, The Handbook, 23

It’s easy to live for the applause of others. To tweak your words, your actions, even your beliefs, just to fit in or be liked. But Epictetus offers us a harder and far more rewarding path: live with integrity, even when nobody notices.

If you want to live as a Stoic philosopher, you don’t need to wear a robe or quote Marcus Aurelius on demand. You simply need to live in alignment with your principles. That means saying no at the right moment, standing firm when your values are tested, and making peace with being misunderstood. The praise that you were looking for before will now come in the form of peace of mind.

Be a Philosopher in Action, Not Just in Image

Epictetus isn’t anti-recognition; he just wants you to earn it honestly. If you want to be seen as wise, live wisely. If you want respect, be respectable. But never sacrifice your soul for a round of applause. It’s the motivation behind your actions that matters. Can you be wise when nobody is watching?

Habits to Help You Live as a Stoic Philosopher

• Ask yourself daily: Am I doing this because it’s right, or because I want to be liked?
  
• Practice silent discipline. Do the right thing without needing credit for it.
  
• Let your actions speak. If someone praises you, great. If they don’t, so what?
  

Your character is the loudest thing you carry; make it worth hearing.

Want to explore more Stoic strategies?

Book a free consultation with one of our Stoic Coaches or read more on the Epictetus Quotes page. You can also listen to the Via Stoica podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts or watch it on YouTube.

Author Bio

Benny Voncken is the co-founder of Via Stoica, where he helps people apply Stoic philosophy to modern life. He is a Stoic coach, writer, and podcast host of The Via Stoica Podcast. With almost a decade of teaching experience and daily Stoic practice, Benny creates resources, workshops, and reflections that make ancient wisdom practical today.