Who are you?
My name is Benny and I’m one of the co-founders of Via Stoica. Stoicism is my philosophy of life and it guides me through most of my decisions and how to approach the world around me. I’m from a tiny village in the South of the Netherlands and spent most of my childhood there. Around 2010 I moved to Spain to teach English and after seven years I went to Dubai for five years where I also worked in education.
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What describes me best is my need to explore and learn about the world. Philosophy has helped me add a new direction to that discovery, it moved it inward to the self. My life has become very simple allowing myself to go where fate takes me. I try to greet the world with a smile and curiosity.
What started your Stoic journey?
My Stoic journey started when my marriage started to go downhill and I had some serious physical injuries to overcome. Trying to make sense of it all and looking for more control of my life, I turned to reading more and more. A close friend of mine became my reading guide. Starting with science fiction books and the classics to transition to more philosophical books. During a conversation with my friend, I diagnosed myself with an existential crisis. Which lead to the book An Introduction to Existentialism by Robert Olson. Besides philosophies like Existentialism and Absurdism, Olson also mentioned the Stoics. And they immediately spoke to me.
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From that moment on it became my lifestyle and I started my Stoic journey. I read everything I could, starting with the classics. You can read my Stoic Reading List for Beginners here. The more I read, the more I realized this aligned with my personal nature. I started to recognize myself more and more with Stoic philosophy. It helped me flourish into becoming my true self.
Why Stoicism?
Stoicism is the pragmatic and logical approach to life that helps me stay grounded and focused on the present. In a nutshell, it makes perfect sense to me. I understand that this isn’t the same for everyone, but I find its teachings and overall view of life compatible with how I look at things.
The quest to live the good life and to understand what that means is key. Stoicism helped me focus my actions on my personal values and principles, grounding them in knowing my why.
Epictetus was the Stoic who opened my eyes the most. I needed his verbal slap in the face to get out of the victim mentality and take agency of my life. By practicing acceptance and gratitude I am learning to live more and more in the present.
What does Stoicism mean to you?
Stoicism is my way of life. It helps me make sense of myself and observe the world more objectively. It has become the mirror of my true self showing me that it is ok to be me. Better yet, I deserve to follow my own path and not what I think others expect me to do.
Applying Stoic philosophy is the balancing factor I needed in life. To learn to take responsibility and live in the present. It means a new start and a better connection to myself and the world around me.
How has Stoicism impacted your daily life?
In one of the episodes of the Via Stoica Podcast, we talked about anxiety. In that conversation, I realized how much my anxiety levels have dropped ever since I started applying Stoicism.
It has impacted my life in many ways. One of the biggest ones was quitting alcohol. It was the pressure of others that kept me drinking, my sense of wanting to belong. But Stoicism taught me that people should accept me for who I am, not for how much I could drink.
Because of Stoic philosophy, I live a more basic and simple life. Having sold everything when I left Dubai, I realized I don’t need much to be happy. I worry less and feel far more gratitude for the present. Which helps me to focus on what is required of me in the moment instead of ruminating about what might or might not happen.
What Stoic practice or teaching resonates with you the most?
The most essential part of Stoicism and many other philosophies is learning more about yourself. Knowing what your values and principles are and understanding your why, are key to adopting a Stoic lifestyle.
The dichotomy of control has been a pivotal concept that has shown me where I need to place my attention. Negative visualization has taught me to foreshadow what could happen and to realize that I can deal with it. Being prepared and more observant has helped me to be more confident in myself.
Besides learning to take more responsibility, it has taken me out of the victim mentality. Instead of thinking ‘Why me?’, I now look at the things that happen to me as “Why not me?’
Last but not least is the practice of living in accordance with Nature. This is as important as knowing who you are. It’s a reminder that lets me listen better to my inner voice, my intuition. With calm and peace being the north star on my compass.
Do you have any advice for others who are new to Stoicism?
If you are new to Stoicism and you’d like to start practicing, the best advice I have is to start now. There’s no better moment to begin. But it’s also good to keep in mind that perfection is, for most of us an unobtainable goal. Let go of the end result and focus on the small steps you’re making in the moment. The improvements you’ve made compared to yesterday.
Some changes you can see quickly, others will take more time. But at least you’re working on yourself to become better and live a more peaceful and calm life.
You can always get in touch with us if you’d like some guidance. Our Stoic coaching programs are here to help you grow and find your way.
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