“You too should drop your desire; do not covet many things, and you will get what you want.”
Epictetus, Discourses, Book 3, Chapter 9.22
Temperance is one of the four cardinal virtues in Stoicism, yet it’s often overlooked against more popular ideas like courage or fate. But temperance, the discipline of moderation, is what gives all other virtues their stability. And for many, it is the most difficult to put into practice.
For Epictetus, temperance wasn’t just about resisting excess. It was about learning to govern your impulses so that you could live in harmony with nature and reason. It is often translated as discipline, although that doesn’t capture its full meaning.
In this post, we explore 10 authentic quotes from Epictetus on temperance, grouped into practical themes. Each includes a reflection and a real-world practice you can try today.
1. Drop your Desires
“You too should drop your desire; do not covet many things, and you will get what you want.”
Epictetus, Discourses, Book 3, Chapter 9.22
When we chase too much, we are always running towards something new. Epictetus reminds us that temperance is not withholding things from ourselves; it’s knowing what truly matters.
Practice: Choose one area where you’re overextending, social media, food, or multitasking, and it’s clear what they mean in your life, and set the proper limits.
2. Desire destroys freedom
“Freedom is not secured by the fulfilment of people’s desires, but by the suppression of desire.”
Epictetus, Discourses, Book 4, Chapter 1.75
Having more desires means becoming more dependent on externals. The fewer desires we have, the freer we become. Our joy will now depend only on what we can control.
Practice: Journal for five minutes about one thing you think you need to be happy. Can you let go of that belief?
3. Desire Makes You Dependent
“Is it possible for the man who desires any of those things that are in the power of others to be free from hindrance?”
Epictetus, Discourses, Book 4, Chapter 1.63
Reflection:
This is a common topic in the teachings of Epictetus, and the answer to the question is a clear ‘no’. When your happiness depends on things controlled by others, you’re no longer free. Temperance, the discipline of checking desire, is the path back to autonomy and reclaiming what is yours.
Practice:
Identify one thing today that you’re hoping someone else will give, do, or approve. Ask: Can I let go of this desire and regain my freedom instead?
4. Disturbing judgments
“It is not the things themselves that disturb people but their judgments about those things.”
Epictetus, Handbook, 5
A car is a car, a house is a house, and a partner is another human being. Our attachments come from our judgments that say they are good and will make us happy. When we learn to see them for what they are, we can remove our dependency on them and appreciate these externals when they are in our lives.
Practice: Reframe one recurring frustration as a false judgment. What story are you telling yourself?
5. Stay True to the Highest Good
“What is the first business of one who pursues philosophy? To cast away self-conceit. For it is impossible for any one to begin to learn what he thinks he knows.”
Epictetus, Discourses, Book 2, Chapter 17.1
Reflection:
Temperance is not just about resisting pleasures, it’s about humbling ourselves to the work of self-improvement. Epictetus reminds us that we cannot live wisely if we assume we’ve already mastered ourselves. Moderation begins with openness and a willingness to be taught.
Practice:
Where in your life do you think you’ve “already figured it out”? Question that area today. Approach it like a student again.
Besides these 10 Epictetus quotes on Temperance, there are 200+ Epictetus quotes here.
6. Choose Your Direction in Life
“You must be one man, either good or bad. You must cultivate either your own ruling faculty or externals, and apply yourself either to things within or those outside of you; that is, you must assume either the attitude of a philosopher or that of a layman.”
Epictetus, Discourses, Book 3, Chapter 15, Section 13
Reflection:
Temperance begins with choosing what kind of person you want to be. Epictetus challenges us to stop dividing our energy between virtue and vice. Either we tend to our inner character, or we remain at the mercy of the world.
Practice:
Notice where you’re splitting your efforts today, seeking approval or comfort from externals while neglecting your character. Choose one internal quality to strengthen instead.
7. Train in the Small Things First
“Practice, for heaven’s sake, in little things; and thence proceed to greater.”
Epictetus, Discourses, Book 1, Chapter 18.18
Reflection:
Temperance isn’t forged in grand moments, but in small, daily choices. Epictetus urges us to begin where we are, to build discipline one small test at a time, so we’re prepared when larger challenges arrive.
Practice:
Choose one ordinary moment today to practice restraint. Skip the extra snack, pause before interrupting, or wait before reacting. Let it be training, not denial.
8. Making progress, not impressing others
“If you want to make progress, put up with being thought foolish and stupid with regards to externals.”
Epictetus, Handbook, 13
Temperance includes not needing to impress. The desire to show others what we know and how smart we are is another way of giving up our autonomy. The good is quiet and internal, there’s no need to show the world.
Practice: Skip one performance today, let someone else be right, look cool, or win the point.
9. Receive What Comes Without Grasping
“Something is being passed around and comes to you: Put out your hand and take your share politely. It goes by: do not detain it. It has not yet come: Do not stretch your desire out towards it, but wait till it comes to you.”
Epictetus, Handbook, 15
Reflection:
Epictetus compares life to a banquet: what is meant for you will arrive in time. The wise person doesn’t reach, cling to, or resent what passes them by. Temperance means embracing what’s here without longing for more.
And if you do not even take the things which are set before you, but despise them, then, he says, “you will not only share the symposia of the gods but also share their rule.” In other words, this discipline doesn’t just bring peace — it brings dignity.
Practice:
Notice one thing today you’re craving, chasing, or holding onto too tightly. Can you let it pass by, just for today, and see how that feels?
10. The cause of fear”The cause”
“The cause of fear in men is things; and whenever any person can either confer or take away these from another, then he becomes a cause of fear too.”
Epictetus, Discourses, Book 4, Chapter 1.85
The person who controls what we desire becomes our master, our source of fear. A temperate life is a free life, no one owns you. No one has leverage over you because you have everything you need. Your reason, good judgment, and right action.
Practice: Ask yourself: What do I want so badly that I’ve given someone else power over me?
Final Reflection: Strength Through Self-Control
Epictetus taught that temperance is not about saying no, it’s about saying yes to the right things. Every act of restraint is a statement: I choose to be free. These 10 Epictetus quotes on Temperance can give you a reminder in moments when desires take over.
Try this journaling prompt tonight: Where did I choose moderation today? How did it feel? Where can I do better tomorrow?
If you’re interested in deepening your Stoic journey and applying these principles to personal challenges, consider Stoic coaching. Book a free consultation right here. Learn more about how it can help you gain clarity, emotional resilience, and inner peace here. If you want more support and practical guidance, tune in to the Via Stoica Podcast. You can watch us on YouTube or listen on Spotify, or Apple Podcast.
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