How to Pay Attention
“When you relax your attention for a while, do not fancy you will recover it whenever you please.”
Epictetus, Discourses, Book 4, Chapter 12.1
In a world of constant distraction, the greatest gift you can give to yourself or another is attention. For the Stoics, attention (prosochē) wasn’t just mindfulness; it was moral awareness, the practice of being fully present with reason and virtue. As Simone Weil beautifully wrote, “Attention is love.” The Stoics would agree. To pay attention is to live intentionally, to love reality as it is.
What Attention Really Means
Attention begins with how we relate to the world and to each other. Modern conversations often resemble a table tennis match, each person waiting to respond rather than to listen. But Marcus Aurelius reminded himself to “try to get into people’s minds,” to see their intentions, and to understand rather than to judge.
When we truly pay attention to another person, to nature, to the task before us, we stop drifting through life on autopilot. Attention grounds us in the present moment, where virtue and choice actually exist.
“Just give your mind, your thoughts, everything towards that other person or everything towards the world around you.”
Benny Voncken, Via Stoica Podcast, “Attention Is Love” (04:09)
The Stoic Discipline of Prosochē
The Greek word prosochē (προσοχή) means “attention” or “application.” In Stoicism, it refers to the constant watchfulness over our impressions, judgments, and actions.
Epictetus warned that attention is not something we can turn on and off at will. It’s a discipline, something we cultivate daily through conscious effort. Every time we pause before reacting, we exercise prosochē.
Attention helps us catch the moment between impression and assent, the space where freedom lives. If we fail to notice this moment, emotion takes over; if we attend carefully, reason leads.
“We should make a habit out of paying attention to our actions, to what we’re doing in the present moment.”
Benny Voncken, Via Stoica Podcast, “Attention Is Love” (06:34)
Attention as Moral Action
Marcus Aurelius urged himself to “concentrate every minute like a Roman,” to do what is before him with seriousness, tenderness, and justice. Attention, in this sense, becomes ethical; it’s about doing what is right, here and now, without being swept away by distraction, resentment, or fear.
When we attend fully, we act with virtue. We stop worrying about outcomes and focus instead on the moral quality of our actions. Stoic attention is not about intensity; it’s about integrity.
Attention as Love
Beyond moral vigilance, attention is also a form of love. Simone Weil saw attention as the purest form of care, an openness to reality and to others without trying to control them. When we truly attend to another person, we see them as they are, not as we want them to be.
As Benny puts it, attention bridges the gap between awareness and affection. When you give someone your time but not your attention, it’s “the cruelest fraud of all.” Real love requires presence.
“When we pay that attention, when we give it our love, we can see the beauty of life around us.”
Benny Voncken, Via Stoica Podcast, “Attention Is Love” (13:17)
How to Practice Attention
- Pause before reacting.
Notice your first impression, then take a breath before assenting to it. - Focus on one thing.
When walking, just walk. When listening, truly listen. - Ask reflective questions.
“What requires my attention right now? Is this virtuous? Is this within my control?” - Listen twice as much as you speak.
As Zeno said, we have two ears and one mouth for a reason. - Train daily.
Attention is a habit. Like any muscle, it strengthens with consistent practice.
Conclusion
Attention is the bridge between love and virtue, between presence and wisdom. It connects us with others, aligns us with nature, and restores peace to our restless minds. To pay attention is to live as the Stoics taught, rationally, justly, and with reverence for the moment before us.
If you’d like to go deeper into this topic, you can listen to the full episode of The Via Stoica Podcast here: “Attention Is Love”.
Want to explore more Stoic practices?
Book a free consultation with one of our Stoic Coaches. You can also listen to the Via Stoica podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, or watch it on YouTube.
Author Bio
Benny Voncken is the co-founder of Via Stoica, where he helps people apply Stoic philosophy to modern life. He is a Stoic coach, writer, and podcast host of The Via Stoica Podcast. With almost a decade of teaching experience and daily Stoic practice, Benny creates resources, workshops, and reflections that make ancient wisdom practical today.
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