How do the Stoics really understand our emotional lives?
Not the pop-culture version, the real, carefully reasoned view.
Based on our Stoic Conversation with Professor Margaret Graver, on the Via Stoica podcast, we will explore the Stoic view on emotions. Professor Graver is the author of Stoicism and Emotion, and one of the world’s foremost experts on ancient Stoic psychology.
Watch the full episode here: A Stoic Conversation with Margaret Graver
Her explanations reveal a system that does not reject emotions but reshapes them, grounding them in understanding, responsibility, and character.
1. What Is an Emotion, Really? The Stoic Definition
For the Stoics, emotions are not random storms that happen to us.
They are judgments, specific value-laden judgments about what is good or bad for us, paired with a physical response.
Professor Graver explains:
“In ancient Stoicism, an emotion is a judgment… including a value term, an idea about something that is either good or bad for you.”
Margaret Graver, Via Stoica Podcast (13:58)
This is one of the clearest distinctions in Stoicism. Emotions are not simply feelings. They are conclusions we draw, often based on unexamined beliefs formed since childhood.
And this is why they matter: if the underlying belief is false, the emotion that follows will also be false.
2. The Two Big Misconceptions About Stoicism and Emotion
There are two ideas about Stoicism that Professor Graver challenges immediately:
“First, the idea that the Stoics were all about suppressing the emotions… Folks, it’s not about suppression.”
Margaret Graver, Via Stoica Podcast (16:21)
“Second… the idea that the Stoics are against all emotions across the board. In fact, there are good emotions, grounded in true judgments.”
Margaret Graver, Via Stoica Podcast (16:21)
So:
- Stoicism ≠ emotional numbness
- Stoicism ≠ suppression
- Stoicism = understanding, evaluating, and correcting unfounded judgments
And yes, the Stoics did believe in good emotions (eupatheiai), such as rational joy, goodwill, and cautiousness.
But they must arise from truth and virtue, not illusion and vice.
3. Why Emotions Feel Both Voluntary and Involuntary
Emotions begin with value judgments, judgments that come from beliefs we already hold.
But emotions also feel involuntary in the moment. Professor Graver clarifies this beautifully:
“You can’t stop being angry instantly… and yet you did actually decide to be angry. There was a judgment that underlies your anger.”
Margaret Graver, Via Stoica Podcast (37:17)
She uses Chrysippus’ metaphor of running downhill:
- Running is voluntary
- But once you’re running fast downhill, you cannot stop instantly
- Anger (and other emotions) work the same way
Stoicism doesn’t deny the rush. It teaches us to understand the cause, to pause, and take responsibility for how we act and judge.
4. Changing Emotions Means Changing Beliefs
Stoicism is built on the idea that human beings are rational creatures capable of examining and correcting their beliefs.
Professor Graver explains:
“Your belief set is your character… When you are having a response on the basis of false beliefs, that’s a problem. Not because of the way it feels, but because it’s based on a falsehood.”
Margaret Graver, Via Stoica Podcast (30:27)
This is the heart of Stoic emotional work:
- Identify false beliefs
- Examine them honestly
- Replace them with accurate ones
- Let true judgments shape your emotional responses
Stoicism is not about feeling less. It’s about understanding your feelings and knowing where they come from.
5. A Stoic Response to Difficult News
How would a Stoic respond to something truly heavy, an illness, a loss, or a life-changing diagnosis?
Professor Graver offers a nuanced, human answer:
“Even the perfected Stoic may tremble or turn pale… They might experience shock, all without having said ‘a horrible thing has happened.’”
Margaret Graver, Via Stoica Podcast (54:47)
Initial reactions are natural. The Stoics never condemned these.
The question is:
- What judgment follows?
- What meaning do you assign to the event?
- Do you let the shock define your character, or do you choose the response that aligns with virtue?
This is the Stoic way: to feel the first contraction, breathe, and let reason choose the next action.
6. Why the Stoic View Matters Today
In our modern world, emotions are often seen as identity statements:
“I feel angry — so I am angry.”
“I fear this — so it must be bad.”
Professor Graver notes that this misses the point. Stoicism isn’t about being unfeeling; it’s about being responsible.
She adds:
“If you’re not thinking in terms of responsibilities to other people, responsibilities to yourself, and responsibilities to the planet, then I don’t think you have really understood what the system is about.”
Margaret Graver, Via Stoica Podcast (103:00)
Stoicism is not self-protection. It’s not emotional withdrawal.
It’s a philosophy of:
- truth
- responsibility
- community
- moral character
And emotions result from all of this; that’s why we have it in ourselves to manage our emotions and steer them in the right direction.
Conclusion: Stoicism Helps Us Feel More Clearly, Not Less
The Stoic view on emotions is not about becoming untouchable. It is about becoming accurate, seeing the world as it is, responding in line with virtue, and reshaping our beliefs so our emotional life becomes stronger, healthier, and more honest.
If you want to hear the full conversation with Professor Margaret Graver, you can watch the episode here:
YouTube: https://youtu.be/eI5Fb5P5U4c?si=qsXdexX_KiGst1qt
Want to explore more Stoic practices?
Book a free consultation with one of our Stoic Coaches. You can also listen to the Via Stoica podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts or watch it on YouTube.
About the Author
Benny Voncken is the co-founder of Via Stoica, where he helps people apply Stoic philosophy to modern life. He is a Stoic coach, writer, and podcast host of The Via Stoica Podcast. With almost a decade of teaching experience and daily Stoic practice, Benny creates resources, workshops, and reflections that make ancient wisdom practical today.
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