“What harm is there while you are kissing your child to say softly, ‘Tomorrow you will die’.”
Epictetus, the Discourses, Book 3, Chapter 24.87
Gratitude is not usually the first word that comes to mind when people think of Stoicism. Many see Stoicism as a philosophy of detachment, calm, reasoned, and even cold. Yet beneath the surface of this rational discipline lies a profound sense of appreciation for life itself. To be truly Stoic is to be deeply grateful: for this moment, for what you have, and even for what will one day be gone.
In this episode of the Via Stoica podcast, The Stoic View On Gratitude, Benny explores how the Stoics viewed gratitude not as mere politeness or comparison, but as a rational recognition of life’s impermanence and beauty.
Gratitude as Awareness of the Present
“When I started reading the Stoics, I realized that gratitude was not about ignoring pain or pretending everything is fine, it’s about seeing clearly what’s already here.”
Benny Voncken, Via Stoica Podcast, The Stoic View on Gratitude (02:45)
The Stoics remind us that everything we love, people, possessions, and even our own lives, is temporary. This is not meant to darken life, but to illuminate it. When Epictetus advises us to remember mortality as we kiss a loved one goodnight, his purpose is not morbid. It is to awaken gratitude.
By contemplating the fragility of all things, we learn to cherish them more deeply. This moment is all that truly belongs to us. Gratitude, in Stoic terms, is awareness, the ability to see what is, rather than dwell on what is not.
The Discipline of Desire and the End of Comparison
“If we keep wanting things that we don’t have, we will always live in frustration and anxiety. We forget the beauty that is already around us.”
Benny Voncken, Via Stoica Podcast, The Stoic View on Gratitude (09:01)
Epictetus taught that to desire what is beyond our control is to guarantee unhappiness. The more we chase what others possess, wealth, recognition, pleasure, the more we overlook what is already within reach.
Modern culture thrives on comparison. Social media feeds on dissatisfaction, showing us curated versions of other people’s “better” lives. But Stoic gratitude cuts through this illusion. It calls us to look at what we already have, reason, moral choice, awareness, and realize that these are enough for peace of mind.
Complaint and Gratitude Cannot Coexist
“As we complain, we only look at what we don’t have, and we take ourselves out of the moment. Stoicism teaches us to return to it.”
Benny Voncken, Via Stoica Podcast, The Stoic View on Gratitude (13:06)
Complaining and gratitude are opposites. One narrows your world to lack; the other opens it to abundance. Epictetus reminds us that we have “the equipment and resources for greatness of soul.” If this is true, what do we have left to complain about?
Marcus Aurelius extends the lesson to the cosmic level:
“And with that in mind I have no right, as a part, to complain about what is assigned me by the whole. Because what benefits the whole can’t harm the parts, and the whole does nothing that doesn’t benefit it.”
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 10.6
When we see ourselves as part of nature’s larger order, the Logos, gratitude naturally arises. Even when life feels unfair, we can remember: if it serves the whole, it serves us too.
True Stoic Gratitude: Connection, Not Detachment
Many mistake Stoicism for emotional detachment, a way to shield oneself from loss or pain. But Zeno’s philosophy was never about isolation. It was about engagement grounded in reason.
The Stoic sage is not cold or distant. He is fully alive, grateful, and connected, capable of love and friendship, yet not enslaved by them. Gratitude does not deny attachment; it refines it.
Benny puts it beautifully: to be independent yet connected, strong yet compassionate, grateful even as you let go.
Like Marcus’ olive that ripens and falls, the Stoic life is one of harmony with nature, to live, to give thanks, and to release without complaint.
Practicing Stoic Gratitude
Try this simple Stoic exercise today:
- Pause and observe. Look around you and note three things you are grateful for right now, not in comparison to others, but in themselves.
- Reflect with reason. Ask: Would I still value this if I knew it might be gone tomorrow?
- Act with fairness. Give each person and thing in your life their due, your attention, your care, your presence.
When you begin to live this way, gratitude becomes not a reaction but a state of mind, an alignment with nature, reason, and virtue.
Conclusion
Gratitude in Stoicism is not a mood but a moral stance, an expression of understanding that everything is given for a time, and that everything that happens can serve the good of the whole.
When you practice gratitude, you move closer to what the Stoics called eudaimonia, a good spirit, a flourishing soul. You see life as it truly is: transient, interwoven, and deeply precious.
Listen to the full episode here: The Stoic View on Gratitude
Want to explore more Stoic practices?
Book a free consultation with one of our Stoic Coaches. You can also listen to the Via Stoica podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts or watch it on YouTube.
About the Author
Benny Voncken is the co-founder of Via Stoica, where he helps people apply Stoic philosophy to modern life. He is a Stoic coach, writer, and podcast host of The Via Stoica Podcast. With almost a decade of teaching experience and daily Stoic practice, Benny creates resources, workshops, and reflections that make ancient wisdom practical today.
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