What is the Stoic Man: An Examination of Masculinity

The Stoic man is not the buff, stone-faced figure the internet likes to make of Marcus Aurelius. He was one of the physically frailer emperors of Rome, to the point where people around him doubted he would survive long in the role, and what actually gave him a claim to manliness was character, not physique. That distinction is worth sitting with, especially now that traditional gender roles are shifting and the concept of masculinity feels more contested than settled.

For a deeper look at what Stoicism specifically offers men navigating mental health, read Men’s Mental Health: A Stoic Approach.

Let’s look at what characterized the Stoic man, instead of what makes someone masculine in the general sense. Stoicism lends itself to exploring this, but a distinction needs to be made here: this isn’t about the newer term “broicism,” which is becoming more popular online. The ideas behind that term couldn’t be further from what the ancient Stoics had in mind with their philosophy.

What is masculinity?

The dictionary definition doesn’t give us much to work with.

“the quality or nature of the male sex: the quality, state, or degree of being masculine or manly”

A lot of these definitions work in circles instead of naming specific qualities. Manly is defined as:

“Having qualities traditionally associated with a man: STRONG, VIRILE“

Strength and virility can be read many ways. In the corners of the internet that edge toward the toxic side of this conversation, they get read as physical strength, imposing physiques, and the suppression of emotion. Appearing weak becomes the thing to avoid at all costs, so the response is to be loud and present, covering over whatever insecurity sits underneath.

A more reasoned read starts somewhere else. Being called weak or unreliable, especially by people you love, hurts regardless of where you sit on any spectrum of masculinity; that’s close to a universal part of our nature. But reason and logic are also part of that nature, which is why being a Stoic man needs to be viewed from more than one angle.

Integrity and Manliness

What better example of what a man is than Marcus Aurelius? This Stoic man was the emperor of Rome, and not just any emperor, one of the five later historians grouped as good. Social media tends to picture him as a buff, twelve-pack, super-strong figure. In reality, he was fairly frail, frail enough that the people around him doubted he would survive long as emperor. What he lacked in physical strength, he made up for in mental power.

In what we now know as the first book of the Meditations, he gives thanks to the most important people in his life. The quote above is the second entry, attributed to the memory and reputation of his father, who died when Marcus was young. He opened the book with his grandfather Verus, who stepped into that father role.

This isn’t an essay against manliness. It’s an attempt to work out what the Stoic man actually is, and integrity, character, and self-control seem like a solid start, especially coming from Marcus Aurelius.

Self-reliance and cheerfulness

Marcus learned these two qualities from his adopted father, Antoninus Pius, among many other lessons. Antoninus was the biggest single influence on the emperor Marcus became. Self-reliance reads as a quality of strength on its own, which makes the pairing with cheerfulness the interesting part.

Watch our Via Stoica Episode: What is The Stoic Man

The modern masculine sphere often rewards anger, treating it as a sign of power. Marcus was taught the opposite: self-reliance paired with cheerfulness. Cheerfulness here isn’t the absence of feeling that some versions of stoic toughness demand of men. The Stoics called this a eupatheia, a good emotion that follows from an accurate judgment about what’s actually happening, not a suppressed void standing in for anger.

There’s no need for anger, or for the extreme displays some think a Stoic man should perform. Kindness toward each other, even toward people we disagree with, is the actual standard. Men whose will to power outweighs their will to virtue tend to reach for violence instead. Few things shape character better than the traits Marcus displays here, and he gives us another example when he starts the lessons from his adoptive father with a single word.

The simple life

The only woman in Book One of the Meditations is his mother, and she played a large role in his life. She taught him to be good and showed him a simple way to live, though he pushed that further than she likely intended, moving toward a more austere lifestyle. His fifth inspiration, who was most likely a slave, taught him the same lesson from another angle.

The Stoic man is content with little, a stark contrast to the flashy cars, big villas, and external displays that fill the broicism feed. The Stoics measured the good life from the inside.

The more familiar translation of this line is “It is possible to be happy, even in a palace.” Marcus is reminding himself that a palace is rarely where people actually live well, and history offers plenty of emperors who did an appalling job of it. It’s possible if you find it within, which is exactly what the loudest voices in modern masculine culture tend to skip.

Duty and Responsibility

The simple life comes down to duty and responsibility when you’re exploring what the Stoic man is like. Taking on whatever role life hands you, emperor, teacher, soldier, father, means doing that job to the highest moral standard you can manage, and doing it without complaint.

Doing your duty virtuously makes it easier to take responsibility for the outcome. Succeed or fail, if you did your best, there’s no glory or shame attached; you did what the moment required for the benefit of something larger than yourself, and you own the result either way. These two qualities are core to an honorable character, which is why they keep resurfacing throughout the Meditations.

Strength and discipline

His main Stoic teacher, Junius Rusticus, taught him a great deal, and this is the line Marcus starts with. Two concepts keep resurfacing in toxic masculinity and broicism circles: strength and discipline. Where Marcus differs from that crowd is what he’s actually training: his character and inner strength, not his physique. Nothing in the Meditations shows him advocating a daily gym routine. Looking after the body matters too, in moderation, but it was never the goal in itself.

Inner strength takes discipline and a willingness to examine your own emotions, triggers, and obstacles. Knowing who you actually are is what makes a balanced life possible, and it’s what lets you apply reason to whatever the present moment hands you.

Practice: Each evening, name one specific moment from that day where you reacted instead of choosing. Don’t judge it, just name it. That single moment is where tomorrow’s training actually starts.

What is the Stoic man?

The true Stoic man is a man of character, integrity, self-control, self-reliance, kindness, and compassion, someone who locates value inside rather than in externals, who does his duty and owns his responsibilities. This confident version of masculinity doesn’t need the spotlight and can live a modest life. It’s available whether you love the gym or want nothing to do with it.

The Stoics themselves argued this belongs to everyone, not just men. Musonius Rufus, who taught Epictetus, put it directly:

If the capacity for virtue was never a matter of sex to begin with, the qualities we’re calling the Stoic man here were never really about masculinity in the first place, they’re about character, and Marcus Aurelius happens to be an unusually well-documented case study in building it. Whatever version of this works for you, remember what Marcus tells himself.

Here’s the episode of the Via Stoica Podcast where we discuss this topic directly.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does it mean to be a Stoic man?

Being a Stoic man means locating your worth in character, integrity, self-control, and duty rather than in physique or dominance. Marcus Aurelius, who was physically frail for most of his life, built his reputation on training his mind and character instead.

Is Stoicism about suppressing emotions like anger?

No. Marcus Aurelius describes cheerfulness and compassion as qualities to cultivate, not emotions to suppress. The Stoics distinguished good emotions, grounded in accurate judgment, from passions like uncontrolled anger, grounded in false judgment. The goal was better judgment, not less feeling.

Was Marcus Aurelius physically strong?

No, by most historical accounts Marcus Aurelius was physically frail, frail enough that people around him doubted he would survive long as emperor. His strength was in his character and discipline, not his body, which is central to how he defines manliness throughout the Meditations.

Did the Stoics believe philosophy was only for men?

No. Musonius Rufus, who taught Epictetus, argued directly that women share the same gift of reason as men and are equally capable of virtue. The qualities described as the Stoic man here are qualities of character available to anyone, not privileges of sex.

How can I start practicing Stoic character today?

Start small: each evening, name one specific moment where you reacted instead of choosing. Marcus Aurelius trained his character through daily self-examination like this, not through a single dramatic change. For a structured approach, read How to Practice Stoicism.

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About the Author

Benny Voncken is the founder of Via Stoica and host of the Via Stoica Podcast. He has practiced Stoicism as a way of life for over seven years, spoken at Stoicon, and led Stoic walks across Europe. Through Stoic coaching, he helps people use Stoic principles and practices to develop their own philosophy of life.