10 Epictetus Quotes on Control: What Is and Isn’t Up to You

What is up to us

1. The foundation

Reflection: This is where everything begins. Arrian placed it first in the Handbook because it is the lens through which all other Stoic teaching makes sense. What is up to us is our inner life: how we judge, what we pursue, what we avoid. What is not up to us is everything external: the body, what others think of us, outcomes, and events. Once this distinction is clear, the task becomes simple, though not easy: direct your energy entirely toward what is yours.

Practice: Before you react to something today, pause and ask: is this in my control? If not, let the reaction pass. If yes, act on it.

2. Freedom begins here

Reflection: Most suffering comes from wanting reality to be different from what it is. Epictetus is not asking us to be passive or indifferent. He is pointing to where the problem actually lives: in the gap between what we want and what is. Closing that gap by aligning desire with reality rather than fighting reality is the Stoic path to ataraxia, freedom from disturbance.

Practice: Name one thing you are fighting against today. Ask whether accepting it would cost you anything that truly matters.

3. Your judgment is your own

Reflection: Events do not disturb us. Our judgments about events disturb us. This is one of the most radical claims in Stoicism and also one of the most practically useful. If disturbance comes from judgment, then changing the judgment changes the experience. Epictetus uses death as the example precisely because it is the thing most people fear most. Socrates met it calmly because his judgment of it was sound. The impression is not the thing itself.

Practice: When something disturbs you today, write down the event in neutral language. Then write down the judgment you added to it. Notice the difference.

4. The open hand

Reflection: This is one of the harder Epictetan passages because it addresses loss directly and without softening. The reframe from “lost” to “returned” is not a trick to suppress grief. It is a reminder that nothing we love was ever fully ours to keep. We are custodians, not owners. Children, partners, possessions, health: all of these come from nature and return to it. The Stoic grief is not eliminated by this insight, but it is held differently.

Practice: Think of something you are holding tightly. Practise saying: “This was lent to me. I hold it with an open hand.”

5. Where your power lies

Reflection: Concise and complete. Two clauses that together describe the whole of Stoic practice. The first half is active: make the best use of what is yours. That means your attention, your effort, your judgment, your character. The second half is receptive: take the rest as it happens. Not with resignation but with acceptance. Epictetus is not asking for passivity, yet he is asking for a proportion.

Practice: At the start of the day, list what is genuinely in your power today. Focus only on that list.

Character and response

6. No one can harm you

Reflection: Real harm, for Epictetus, is harm to character. Physical harm, financial harm, reputational harm: these all happen in the realm of externals, which are not fully ours. The only harm that is truly harmful is the corruption of your own judgment and virtue. That can only come from within. Other people can restrict your body, take your money, and damage your reputation. They cannot touch your prohairesis unless you let them.

Practice: When you feel wronged today, ask: Has my character been damaged, or only my circumstances?

7. The discipline of assent

Reflection: Every difficulty is a question: what can you do with this? Not what can you do about the difficulty itself, which is often nothing, but what power do you have to respond to it with virtue? This is the discipline of assent in practice: turning toward yourself first before reacting outward. The accident does not define your response. You do.

Practice: The next time something goes wrong, pause before reacting and ask: what power do I have here?

8. The philosopher athlete

Reflection: Epictetus uses the image of athletic training repeatedly. You do not become strong by avoiding resistance. You become strong by meeting it. The difficult person, the painful circumstance, the unwanted event: these are the training partners that philosophy provides. Without them, there is nothing to practise against. The Stoic welcomes difficulty not because they enjoy suffering but because they understand what it is for.

Practice: Name your current difficulty. Then name what character quality it is training you in.

9. Freedom from opinion

Reflection: Contentment is not a state that external circumstances produce. It is a disposition of the soul. If you cannot find it with what you have now, you will not find it when you get what you want. The wanting itself is the problem. Autarkeia, the Stoic principle of self-sufficiency, points here: the person who needs less from the world is freer than the person who has more.

Practice: Write down three things you already have that are sufficient. Not ideal, but sufficient.

10. The gate of philosophy

Reflection: Philosophy begins not with grand theories but with honest self-knowledge. Knowing the condition of your own mind means knowing where you are weak, where your judgments are distorted, where desire or fear is running the show. Without this, philosophical knowledge becomes decoration rather than medicine. Epictetus was a teacher above all, and this is the first lesson he gave his students: know yourself before you try to know the world.

Practice: Sit quietly for five minutes and ask: where is my mind weak right now? Write down one honest answer.

What these quotes ask of you

Epictetus did not write these words to be collected on a page. He spoke to students who had come to be changed. That is what this philosophy asks: not agreement, but application. The dichotomy of control is simple to understand and demanding to live. The gap between knowing it and doing it is where the actual practice takes place.

To go deeper, read the full commentary on Epictetus Discourses Book 1, or the dedicated guide to how to practice the dichotomy of control. For the full Stoic practice framework, that page covers all three disciplines with exercises for each.

Frequently Asked Questions

What did Epictetus say about control?

Epictetus taught that everything divides into two categories: what is up to us and what is not. What is up to us includes our judgments, desires, and responses. What is not up to us includes our body, reputation, and external outcomes. His entire philosophy rests on this distinction. By focusing only on what is genuinely ours, we recover freedom regardless of external circumstances.

What is the dichotomy of control in Stoicism?

The dichotomy of control is the Stoic division between what lies within our power and what does not. Epictetus placed it at the opening of the Handbook because it is the foundation of all Stoic practice. Directing energy toward what is genuinely ours — our choices, judgments, and responses — and accepting what is not produces both effectiveness and peace.

What is prohairesis?

Prohairesis is the Stoic term for the faculty of moral choice: the capacity to judge, intend, and respond. For Epictetus, it is the only thing that is truly and completely ours. External things can be taken away: body, possessions, reputation, freedom of movement. Prohairesis cannot be taken away unless you abandon it yourself. This is why Epictetus, a former slave, considered himself freer than his masters.

How do I apply Epictetus’s teaching on control in daily life?

Start with one question applied consistently: is this in my control? When something disturbs you, pause and ask it. If the answer is no, practise releasing the reaction. If yes, act on it with full attention. Over time, this becomes a habit of mind rather than a conscious exercise. The discipline of assent is the formal practice for developing this habit.

Why does it matter that Epictetus was a slave?

Because his philosophy was not theoretical. Epictetus lived under conditions where almost everything external was beyond his control: his freedom of movement, his body, his daily circumstances. His teaching on control came from direct experience of what it means to have nothing external to rely on. That is what makes it credible. He was not describing an ideal from a position of comfort. He was describing what actually sustained a person through the worst conditions.

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Browse the full Epictetus quotes collection, read the commentary on Epictetus Discourses Book 1, or explore the Stoic philosophy terms glossary for the concepts behind these quotes.

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About the Author

Benny Voncken is the founder of Via Stoica and host of the Via Stoica Podcast. He has practiced Stoicism as a way of life for over six years, spoken at Stoicon, and led Stoic walks across Europe. Through Stoic coaching, he helps people use Stoic principles and practices to develop their own philosophy of life: one that gives them the tools to face obstacles, navigate change, and find more balance and peace. He writes, teaches, and walks wherever the philosophy takes him.